Please help with 4 yr old I dont know what to do...?

did you say his own father called him an a hole? that is just disgusting! this poor child. it sounds like he is a bit behind and is definitely having some behavioral issues. I would gently try to bring it up to the mother (or father if you don't have a choice) and voice your concerns. Don't scare them or anything, but tell them you are concerned about his language development and the fact that he does not play with toys, the tantrums, etc. Suggest that they run it by his pediatrician. I believe that he should know his numbers, letters, colors by now. At least some of them. Good luck!